Tribute's 1/5/10

Tribute's
Just North of escape from New York on a side street just east of 23rd.
January 5th 2009

General Information: A small street side joint on a dark side street just on the edge of the 23rd Ave Shopping Area. A very short walk from Escape from Cuntsville.

The Story: The second stop on Frank and my slice hopping adventure. We walked from Escape From New York to Tribute's. The walk took just 2 minutes. We trudged. Extremely disappointed from the Escape. I was pissed my 3+ bucks were gone.

-The Pizza-

1 Slice Of Pepperoni (each)

Crust-

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS CRUST IS MAGNIFICENT! As crust goes, it does NOT get much better than crust at Tribute's. It's a light fluffy, but very thin crust with a golden brown color to it. I can't really describe it with any words except "FUCK FUCKING YES!!!". I shit as I ate this pizza, not because the pizza was good, but because the crust was so good. (Ray) Slightly crispy crust, but a soft inside. Reminiscent of the texture of a tempura batter on the outside. Very solid. Who am I kidding... I wanted to fuck this crust.

Sauce-

This is by far the most disappointing thing about the pizza at Tribute's. Not because the sauce is bad, because it isn't. In fact it's great. There just isn't any fucking SAUCE on the pizza. They went through the trouble of making a fantastic sauce only to put hardly any on their pizza. I had 2 bites that had enough sauce to taste it and it was great. Really tasty and unique. Unlike any pizza sauce I've had but still true to pizza sauce. It was even a bit spicy. too bad there were only two bites with any sauce, both of which had no cheese or pepperoni. (Ray) The amount was equivalent to Escape from your Grandmother's Insides. The taste seemed to be good...I commented on how I wish I could have a side of the sauce to dip my penis into. Needed MOREEEE.

Toppings-

Good quality Pepperoni, but it was a bit light, but it covered far more of the pizza than neighboring Escape From New York. I was pleased with the flavor, though the pepperoni seemed a bit stiff in that I couldn't bite through it all the way. Still, a quality topping and it was tasty. (Ray) Good flavored Pepperoni. The texture was FAR from magnificent. Had to grab on to each pepperoni to tear it with my teeth. I think this technique is required... unless you read Twilight while sharpening your teeth on daily basis.

Cheese-

Barely any cheese on the pizza. They had another pizzas in their case that looked to be absolutely loaded with cheese. why did they insist on being pussy about how much cheese was on the pepperoni only. Not that I could have tasted the sauce if there were anymore, but there were bites that were almost JUST bread, which was disappointing. Not much cheese, and really not quality cheese. Better than Escape from The Black Holocaust, but not quality.

Overall taste-

I shit about the crust. It was fantastic. The sauce was WAY lacking, but when I did taste it it was great. The problem is, basically it was bread and pepperoni. The crust again was great, and greatly made up for everything else being subpar in quality, quantity or execution. Try this shit JUST for the crust. Worth it. (Ray) This pizza would probably have been VERY quality if: A shit load more sauce added, a shit load more cheese added (better quality too please... fuck), and completely switching out the pepperoni for something a bit more tender. Potential was there, but didn't deliver. Crust was great... It was like a nasty chick with a beautiful ass.

Value-

$3.25 for a slice, which seems overpriced for the size of the slice. It was a bit small. It was worth a return visit as next time I'll order a side of their sauce, because it was fucking good. Average. Not a bargain. Not expensive. If you're in the area it might be worth it.

-Beer-

On tap-

They had a few, but I had trouble seeing what they had because of the shit on top of the display and that it was not facing toward me. I wasn't too worried, because the prices were twice as high as Escape From New York, so I decided to say "Fuck It" to getting a beer at Tribute's. I drank the shit out of water.

Bottled-

I don't recall bottled beer. Perhaps Frank does (Ray) I recall drinking three glasses of water.

-Atmosphere-

Location-

In a cool area of town but in a difficult to find location. It's the kind of place you'd be looking for some drugs or a pay for a fuck. It's worth looking for though, for that amazing crust. (Ray) What Ray said...but with a dirty cunt joke added.

Exterior Atmosphere-

Just a street joint, back alley type, just glass windows and a lit up huge fucking sign (no doubt to draw attention from people walking on 23rd). Nothing too fancy but not shit either. (Ray) Looked classier than Escape from your Dad's Abuse. They advertised their sandwiches out front... I don't pay for sandwiches, I demand them.

Interior Atmosphere-

Nothing great, but clean and neat. Big enough. Had some bar sitting (which Frank and I chose to enjoy) as well as small tables, which didn't look quite big enough to be comfortable for a long stay. Still, not bad. (Ray) Darker, a bit classier atmosphere than Escape from a Mexican Gangbang.

Service-

Good looking chick at the counter offered us friendly and quick service. I have nothing to complain about. She was hot too. Certainly easy on the eyes, but eager to perform her job without the horseshit we experienced at Escape From New York. (Ray) Eager to perform her job............

-Review Notes-

After Escape I was worried about this place. It turned out to not only be better, but worth a return visit. Overall the pizza needs MORE cheese and sauce, at which point I'd have thought it was incredible, but due to that it's dryer than it needs to be and blander than it needs to be. (Ray) Eager to perform her job............................

-OVERALL RATING-

6/10. With more sauce and more cheese I could give this place an 8 or higher without question. The crust was among the best I've had. (Ray) 6/10. Needed some improvements, but has a good base.